top of page


It will be no surprise to know that our ability to relate, to get along, and to work well with others is fundamental to our personal well being and professional success. But we are really bad at it. Individually and collectively we have been bad at ‘relating’ in our past, we are worse at it now and all indications are that we look like being even worse at it in the future?


“Self Interest”

What is it about ‘relating’ that is so hard…in a word- self-interest?  We have been encouraged/taught/conditioned to believe that the best way for meeting our self-interests/needs is to maintain and convince others to maintain ‘a focus on me’. The problem is that when one adopts ‘a focus on me’ approach, the other in the relationship also adopts ‘a focus on me’ approach…the result… no one’s needs or interests are met and the relationship fails.

A reciprocity perspective adopts the opposite position that success in relationships leading to personal well being and professional success require us to move away from the self focus and create, develop and maintain ‘a focus on the other”.


When one adopts  (and maintains) ‘a focus on the other’ approach, our natural and pure human ‘reciprocity’ impulse kicks in and the other in the relationship instinctively adopts ‘a focus on the other’ approach…the result …the needs and interests of both parties are met and an ongoing process of mutual benefit is initiated-a simple and obvious principle in theory but a very difficult principle in practice to achieve and maintain.

The purpose of the website is to provide those seeking to improve and develop better personal and professional relationships with the resources to understand the why of reciprocity and learn how to think and act reciprocally – consciously reducing their ‘me’ focus while vigorously developing their ‘other’ focus.



“A focus on the other”
bottom of page